midsummer vineyard
the deer ignores the grapes
but eats the shoots
the deer ignores the grapes
but eats the shoots
posted by Jim Tantillo at 7/13/2006 10:40:00 PM
Thursday, July 13, 2006
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4 Comments:
I like this one! If I might make a small suggestion: what about eliminating the gerunds? You know, writing is thusly:
midsummer vineyard --
the deer ignores the grapes
but eats the shoots
hey thanks Aurora, you're right, I appreciate that. and thanks as always for reading.
Jim
another possibility?
midsummer vineyard
ignoring the grapes
the deer eats the shoots
Yes, your second version works fine.:)
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